You desire what others desire
“Man is the creature who does not know what to desire. We desire what others desire because we imitate their desires.”
Those two sentences were from René Girard, the father of the concept “mimetic desire”.
I think that most actions of young generations are simply results of “what” they “should” desire.
Is it money?
Is it a peaceful mind?
Is it a busy calendar?
What is needed to be able to feel “complete”?
When will you be able to say “That’s it, I’m complete.”
Being aware of the fact that most desires you feel inside of you are not yours at all is a good starting point.
Asking “why do I want it?” is the second step. The ones that you can give a convincing answer are generally the ones you really want. The ones that you feel obliged to desire are not yours.
You actually do not seek status. You seek respect. Status is a socially constructed position, and if someone wins, another one loses. Status games are not win-win games.
You actually do not seek money. You seek opportunities. You seek the chance of not doing the thing that you do not want to do.
You do not seek a busy calendar. You seek the feeling of being important. You seek the inevitability of failure without you.
Maybe you do not even seek to create a family. You seek pure creativity. Creativity in the form of family, art, science and technology. In any way. Maybe you seek that creative pulse you have deep down.
Do you feel obliged to have a good status in your workplace? To seek money, for the sake of having money? Do you really need to say “Yes” to the things that fill up your calendar? Do you want to hang out with people that you don’t deeply care about at all? And do you really need to continue the relationship that you do not want to continue?
What you seek will seek you. If you seek your own path, your own unique path will be opened. If you seek what others seek, you will walk on paths that were opened by others.
In a stormy sea, be the storm, not the boat.
Seek what you want to seek, and go where you want to go.
Do not ride someone else’s waves. Do not go where they want you to go.
Be the storm. Not the boat.
